Perhaps the title of this post is a bit harsh considering this is my first entry in seven months... but maybe a bit of harshness is appropriate.
I have grown accustomed to having a minority view among Christians when it comes to various social issues. And, for the most part, I'm ok with that. I don't usually make sweeping public statements about them, either way. (Of course, I love talking about it one-on-one or in small groups!) But the backlash that has resulted from the passing of Prop 8 (and similar laws in other states) has provoked some thoughts in my mind that cry out for public expression.
I think that many in the Christian community have completely missed the bus when it comes to gay marriage. Why do I say that?
In the past few years, Christians have begun to enjoy a certain amount of political clout in this country. While I don't think that a huge ultra-conservative Christian lobby is a good thing, I absolutely agree that thoughtful Christians should get more involved in the political process.
What I don't agree with is Christians using this newfound political power to outlaw gay marriage.
Two reasons:
1) This action puts a HUGE barrier in the way of any future discourse between Christians and the rest of the world. Since I believe that this discourse is vital - in fact, required (see the Great Commission) - we should be trying to remove barriers, not raise new ones. We have plenty of barriers already in place...
2) The 'sanctity of marriage' argument is completely ludicrous. Christians have done as much to destroy the sanctity of marriage as any other group out there. Christians have the same divorce rate as non-Christians. Public sex scandals, domestic abuse, misogynistic marital attitudes, the glass ceiling preventing women from being paid the same as men, etc... non-Christians have nothing on us when it comes to ruining marriage.
Am I saying that Christians should change their minds and embrace gay marriage? I'm not saying that at all. I am saying that we ought to consider embracing gay people. There is no way that someone being told that they can't marry the one they love won't perceive that as an attack. It's hard for me to reconcile the thought of attacking someone with the thought of loving them.
So, what then... should we allow our laws to reflect a changing view of marriage? I'd have to say yes. I think anyone who is a child of a mixed-race marriage would probably agree with me.
So, if we shouldn't use our political clout to enforce our views of marriage on the world, what should we use it for?
In my opinion, I would like to see us use our clout to show our love to the world. I'd like to see us push the government forward in the fight against poverty. I'd like to see us work to actually improve (not just quit hurting) the environment. Christians can (and should) be a driving force in education, health care, the economy, etc.
In short, I'd like to see Christians work as hard to show the world our love as we've worked in the past to show everyone else how wrong we think they are.
And, on the other end, I'd love to see Christians exemplifying Godly love and marriage in such a way that the world would actually crave what we have.
4 comments:
Thanks for having the courage to write about this topic.
I agree with you on #2. I keep hearing things like it will destroy the American family, etc. Um, no, divorce is what destroys a family.
When I first heard about prop 8, I thought, well what difference does it make if they get married? If won't affect me. Although I'm against the lifetyle I really thought it wouldn't affect me.
However I did do some research.
I learned about what has happened to public schools in Massachusetts, where gay marriage is legal. Here are some links to visit:
http://www.protectmarriage.com/video/view/6 (Make sure to watch it all)
http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid1815820715?bctid=1822459319
AND
http://massresistance.org/docs/marriage/effects_of_ssm.html
I also learned that gay marriage can affect churches and Christian photographers, wedding planners, etc. A Christian photographer was successfully sued for refuseing to photograph a gay wedding, and she had to pay the gay couple's 6000$ legal fees:
http://www.kvia.com/global/story.asp?s=8154594&loc=interstitialskip
http://www.christianexaminer.com/Articles/Articles%20Nov08/Art_Nov08_16.html
The second article also tells:
• In Massachusetts, Catholic Charities shut down its adoption work — which was widely praised — rather than follow a state rule requiring that homosexuals be allowed to adopt. The religious organization made the move in 2006 after more than a century of adoption work. It had handled more adoptions of foster care children than any agency in Massachusetts.
• In New Jersey, a lesbian couple filed a complaint with the state's civil rights office after officials with an oceanfront religious retreat center owned by members of the United Methodist Church refused to allow the two women to use a pavilion for a same-sex civil union ceremony. (Civil unions are legal in the state.) The state last year agreed with the couple and removed the tax-exempt status of the pavilion, located in Ocean Grove.
Also many schools may be forced to teach the "welcoming schools" curriculum which teaches gay tolerance and that its okay to be gay to kids as young as KINDERGARTEN. (Google it to learn more.) While they do focus on anti-bullying (which is good!) they also read stories such as "King and King", etc. I would not feel comfortable with my child being taught that.
Those are some of the reasons that I would have voted yes on prop 8.
I guess I feel if you legalize gay marriage you take away some of the rights of Christians.
Thoughts?
Thanks again for writing about this.
Thanks for the comment! I'm on my way out the door at the moment - I haven't had time to go to the links you provided, but I will as soon as I can.
At first glance, my impression is that these articles/commentaries are going to be from the viewpoint that passing Prop 8 would be taking rights away from Christians and giving them to someone else.
I hope it's more than that... because if that's all it is, I think Matt. 5-7 says that I might be able to be ok with that. My impression is that the harm that this "us vs. them" outlook does to my witness outweighs my comfort level when it comes to providing wedding music. (Just for reference, I have done music for something in the neighborhood of 250 weddings).
Still, I need check these links out. Once I do, I'll come back and write more.
Thanks again for your comment!
Ok - as I promised, I went through and followed the links you were kind enough to post. I watched the videos, read the commentaries, and did some other research as well.
Normally, when I research something, I try to find material that is as close to objective as possible regarding whatever subject I'm studying. Of course that is becoming more and more difficult to do. Public discourse on the whole, and journalism in specific, is becoming more and more biased and subjective as time goes by.
Unfortunately, this subject seems to be incredibly difficult to write about objectively. I don't mean to be rude, but obviously the links you provided come from a strong anti-gay-marriage perspective. Everything that I found on my own comes from either extreme - even the official news sources regarding these stories came from one side or the other.
So I'll just go with what we have.
I do want to say up front that since I don't have any kids, I realize and understand that my opinion may well be considered moot and irrelevant when it comes down to the public school specifics - so I'll just speak in general for now.
Overall, I believe that the standard Christian response to gay marriage presupposes something that I am not sure I can accept. Essentially, this presupposition is that gay marriage (and other gay rights) is not a civil rights issue. This is the part that bugs me.
Essentially, it seems to me, that this is the very definition of a civil rights issue.
I recognize that there is a view out there that states something to this effect: civil rights apply to concepts over which people have no control... meaning things like race, gender, and handicap status. Since there has been no accepted definitive scientific proof that homosexuality comes from a biological imperative (rather than by choice), it should not be lumped with those other civil rights concepts.
This is a sticky debate. For the sake of keeping this already-too-long response from being even longer, I won't get into the question of whether homosexuality is a choice...
And in fact, I might even be willing to grant that gay marriage might not be a civil rights issue. But I do believe that it is a human rights issue... which I know may have just gotten me in even more trouble!
In my mind, human rights don't have anything to do with the grantee - they have to do with the grantor. I realize that the Declaration of Independence is not the Bible, but I do agree that we are endowed with those rights by our Creator regardless of who we are or what we believe - simply because he loves us.
Do I have the right to tell someone that they can't marry the one they love because a certain percentage of the people in this country believe that marriage should be defined according to their beliefs?
Rather than answer that question, many people will instead throw out another question: Do they have the right to change the way I conduct my business or rent out my facilities or educate my kids because they want to get married?
I think my answer might be this: No, maybe they shouldn't have that right. But maybe we should do it anyway.
Christians survived the abolition of slavery, the advent of women's suffrage, the integration of schools. Marriage survived a more general acceptance of mixed race couples. And before you wonder at this comparison, remember that there were sincere and strong Christians who adamantly believed that they were in the right spiritually when they opposed these things. And as a result, we have changed the way we conduct our businesses and rent out our facilities and educate our kids.
What about the Catholic Charities deciding to stop its adoption work? I think maybe they made the right decision. We still have the abilities to make choices. Maybe they're tough choices - like ending their work finding homes for orphans, or switching to a different school, or moving to another state. But they are choices. Personally, I am sad that they felt they had to make that choice. Again, since I don't have kids, maybe I am not allowed an opinion here - but I'm tempted to say that it's entirely possible that a warm and loving same-sex couple might be preferable to a cold and impersonal orphanage or overcrowded children's home.
What's my bottom line? I think that this issue may be a bit too complicated to have a single bottom line. But I will try to make one real point from all my rambling...
There are a small number of scriptures in the Bible that Christians point to that speak specifically about homosexuality. On the other hand, the core message - the central theme - the overriding thrust of the entire Bible is this: love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength - and love your neighbor as yourself.
If I were to ask any gay person that I know if they feel loved by Christians, I think I know what the answer would be. If I were to examine the way a great number of Christians responded to Prop 8 from the perspective of "treat others as I would like to be treated", I think I know what the answer would be.
Is there a chance that I might lose some of my rights as a Christian if gay marriage becomes legal in more places? Absolutely, there is.
If that happens, maybe as a Christian, I'm called to give up not just my coat, but my shirt as well.
Now, all that being said, this is America. We have the right to vote as we please. For the most part, our First Amendment even allows us to lobby and advertise and try to sway public opinion to match our own. I absolutely support any Christian's right to vote as their conscience leads them...
However, although everything is permissible to me - maybe everything isn't beneficial.
If, by my actions, I make it virtually impossible to engage the homosexual community in any real discourse, I really believe that I need to examine those actions.
I want to thank you again for posting... and I want to encourage anyone else to post their thoughts. As you might have noticed, I love healthy discourse... it's WAY better than reality TV!
Wow, very thorough response - thanks!
Christians survived the abolition of slavery, the advent of women's suffrage, the integration of schools.
Yes, but the difference between those and homosexuality, is that we know homosexuality is wrong. (Yes I know that slavery is mentioned in the Bible but that doesn't mean God approved it.)
I do feel that Christians have not behaved very well regarding this sin. I have heard that homosexuality is the #1 cause of teen suicide among Christian males,and I feel if there wasn't such disgust towards this sin, that would not be the case. I like Mike Cope's thought on homosexuality:
http://preachermike.com/2006/04/12/homosexuality
Except I think he is like you on views of gay marriage.
I think Christian will survive if gay marriage becomes legal in all 50 states, which I think will eventually happen if Obama is re-elected or replaced by a liberal democrat pres.
Another thing you might want to read is the Letter from 2012 by Focus on the Family:
http://freedomthirst.com/documents/10-22-08_2012letter.pdf
I also don't feel its a choice, just like anxiety and overeating, which are sinful too is not a choice but it is a choice to act out on these sins.
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